Sitting Causes Cancer and Other Modern Tragedies (5f, 3m)
Jancy, an ultra modern, ultra overworked and ultra sexually frustrated telemarketer, refuses to sit down. So when a seemingly average man named Thomas starts working at the desk next to her, she thinks fucking him on the copy machine will solve all of her problems. Only it definitely won’t, and Thomas is not as average as he seems. A play about modern boredom, “fun capitalism” and how we corporatize individuality.
Abstract Portrait of a Young Girl Hanging From a Noose (5f, 5m)
When a Brazilian teenager named Lais goes missing from an international summer program, her carefree art teacher Zion is called into question after a troubling painting is found in the trashcan. As the search for Lais begins, things start not quite adding up, and secrets get revealed that could cost people their jobs and maybe even their lives. And besides, who is this mysterious girl that has started following Zion around, and why does no one else seem to notice her?
Georgia is Waiting (2f, 2m)
Georgia Arizona Montana Dakota Smith's father got killed by a bison when she was seven, or so she says. So who is this man calling every week from a payphone booth? A play about a woman without a father, a father without a daughter, and the ways in which we deal with traumatic situations we were too young to really understand.
Clarabelle, 86 (2f, 1m)
When a lonely person dies, it is the job of the city to go through their things. Thus is the fate of Clarabelle B. Jones, a reclusive hoarder from Queens, and the two city administrators tasked with making meaning of her life, and their own lives, through what she owned. What is our relationship to our stuff and can our impact upon a place last after we are gone?
Chekhov's Gun (5f, 4m)
Merriweather Holstrom, finding herself single and jobless, moves to Western, Massachusetts to teach theater to the students at a very progressive high school. Tasked with creating a piece about an "important sociopolitical issue", Merriweather's sanity begins to unravel as the students' lack of knowledge about theater, and the world at large, causes the school administration to blame Merriweather for the chaos that ensues.
Potluck (3f, 3m)
It is the night of Jim’s monthly vegan potluck, and this time it falls on a full moon in Scorpio, so things are bound to get a little wild. While sustainably harvested chardonnay is poured freely, and anger is improperly shoved deep down inside like the quinoa-stuffed bell peppers someone has brought to the communal table, in the distance lurks a headless chicken and others ready to cause these vegans to face parts of themselves they thought their shamans had previously eradicated them of. No one is quite as they seem, and someone is definitely an imposter. No really, she might not even be human. Potluck asks: If you are what you eat, but not what you think, then who are you really?
The Nose (3m, 2-3 flexible)
MJ Kovalyov, an average man, who works at an average job in "The United States of Office Chairs", aka Midtown Manhattan, wakes up one day to find that his nose is missing. What ensues is a frantic chase around the city to get his nose back, who as it turns out has become a hip hop mogul overnight. A modern interpretation of the Russian short story "The Nose" by Nikolai Gogol.
The Great Fly (2f, 2m)
Emily Dickinson was known to be a private person, but Sigmund Freud will stop at nothing to figure her out. In fact, he has decided to date her. Yet, when a strange woman with a dead baby knocks on the door, The Belle of Amherst, and famously ridiculed Austrian Psychotherapist must face the facts of their delusional relationship, and life as they know it.
Oh Amherst! (4f, 2m)
Connor, a white boy, is rejected from Amherst College, while Cynthia, a young woman of Mohegan descent gets accepted. Connor is upset, but plans to move on with his life, that is, until Lord Jeffery Amherst shows up and forces Connor to seek revenge on Cynthia for this “wrongdoing”. With the unwarranted help of a band of spiritual white women, Cynthia must face Connor, and the two of them must face their own identities, as well as the not-so-pleasant history of the place they both call home.
The Talkback (6f, 8m)
Hello and welcome to the show. Please turn off your cellphones, donate all the money you don't have in the name of "independent theater", and stick around for a "brief" talkback afterwards. We look forward to airing our offstage drama, discussing our shallow interests in the inclusion of "marginalized" groups, and alienating you with our inside jokes. We hope that if we haven't scared you off yet, that you might give us an unnecessary standing ovation at the end. Now, without further ado, the thing you paid way too much money to see, which probably won't be very good.
High Holidays (2f, 1m)
Can you stop blowing out the menorah candles? This is Hanukkah, not a birthday party. A play about what happens when you bring your not-Jewish not-sober not-boyfriend to your family's Hanukkah celebration.
Ron Don Jon Juan (1f, 4m)
Ellery is dying. But before she can leave this world, she must revisit the "ironic rhyming tragicomedy" that were the four men she married.
Sitting Causes Cancer and Other Modern Tragedies (1f, 2m, 1 voice).
Jancy, not Nancy, Jancy with a J, works at an office. Jancy, not Nancy, Jancy with a J can try harder than that, can be better than that, can be more herself than herself. Jancy, not Nancy, Jancy with a J is never going to sit still. Ever. Otherwise she'll end up with cancer like sad/weird/sexy/dead Thomas whose butt is glued to his chair. But Thomas doesn't have cancer. That doesn't matter. He'll probably get it any minute. Because everyone dies of cancer. Everyone. Everyone dies. But If you never sit still, you never die. Ever. Right?
Ginny (2F, 1M)
Ginny finds a note from her mother in the attic. Her father watches TV. You can never fix the hole she left.
Alaska in the Summertime (1F, 2M)
A lonely truck driver making the long haul to Alaska encounters a runaway teen hitchhiker and the personification of the winter wind, or has he been on the road for too long?
One Person Shows
Our Common Deception (1F)
You are breathing somewhere else… A rumination on the inevitable end
Only Children (4F, 2M) (co-written with Brianne Zulkiewicz)
It’s spring break of senior year of high school and only children/best friends Dagny and Juniper can’t wait to sneak out to party, interpretive dance to pygmy music, and discuss Socialism with Lowell and his band mates, well, actually, Socialism is kind of lame, but getting drunk off your mom's 100 proof tincture vodka is cool. Yet, when an uninvited, over-dramatic, guest shows up, the night gets ruined in more ways than imagined.
Allegra's Autobody (Short)
Gary III and Chicken Nugget, two small time crooks, accidentally leave a body in the trunk of their car and bring it in for an oil change. Now they must sneak into the shop after hours to retrieve the body so their boss Big Ron doesn't kill them by sunrise. But it turns out some other people have after hours plans at the autobody shop, and they are not what anyone was expecting.